Well, it's been almost six months since my mum's cancer diagnosis. What we all thought was a straight forward cancer to fight, has turned into a daily struggle for her to live.
You never can predict what the future holds. What doctors believe will be easy, cancer and the body put a different spin on it.
I want this journey for her to get easier, but we are still months off that. Everything that the treatment can throw her way, it is. As the doctor explained tonight, her body is just taking a lot longer to recover. Each chemo round has bought with it an infection. I know more about the body now, than I have ever known. Neutrophil levels, iron levels, oxygen saturation, platelets etc etc. What are each doing? How low are they? Where is the infection? When oh when will she come off oxygen? What's the next plan? When do you think she will be home? Does this mean Chemo is delayed again? (YES!)
This week has been really tough - when mum ends up in hospital, there are an endless amount of flowing texts and phone calls between my sisters and I. Who is seeing mum on which day, what is the latest update, has someone checked in with dad?
I'm so lucky to have three loving sisters to share this journey with. It's emotional, it's tiring, but we do what we have to do to keep mum's spirits high.
I'm getting kind of used to the long, late night drives back from the hospital, listening to Richard Mercer on love songs and dedications.
Last night and today, mum has received two blood transfusions. I am eternally grateful to everyone that donates blood, you have played a part in keeping my mum alive.
Please tomorrow bring us some better news. Bring us a mummy who has some energy. Let her blood results have some better figures. Give us some hope.
As I sit her typing this, I still see the face of the lady who told me it would be an interesting journey.
My gosh, she was certainly right.
I just hope that it is a journey that brings us a healthier mum soon.
I miss being able to kiss you mum, but at least I can still hug you and tell you that I love you.
We are all so proud of your courageous fight through this very tough battle. You are truly inspirational, and we are so lucky to have you as our mum.
Sweet dreams
xx
Oh Buffy, it sounds like you are all going through hell right now, I'm so sorry to read about this. What a cruel and unforgiving force it is. Sending lots of strength and positivity your way. Please try to take care of yourself, especially when you're feeling run down and exhausted xo
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