Wednesday, August 1, 2012
For the first time in just under three months, today my family was given Hope.
Sitting beside my mum when her surgeon said "Great news, the cancer was not in the four lymph nodes or the extra tissue we removed" - I felt like I could finally breathe properly. Like someone had finally said, it is going to be ok.
I saw my mum smile, as in a real smile, the first time in months, where you could tell she was relieved.
This means for her no more operations, a treatment plan will now be worked out, and she meets with her surgeon and oncologist next week.
However, she needs to recover, before this can begin.
She has spent the last week in hospital with breathing issues. There are issues with her lungs and she had to rely on oxygen for days to help her to breathe. She has a meeting with a lung specialist in just over a week to discuss her CT results. Now we hope that everything will be fine with her lungs.
It's been a really tough journey so far, each operation has tested her strength and fight to win this battle.
Being isolated for the last week and visitors having to wear "duck" masks just in case she had an infection - at least we saw some humour in these masks and could laugh during this difficult time.
Cancer, it creates bonds with complete strangers. As we sat in the waiting room today, we engaged in conversation with women who were at different stages fighting this gremlin - women undergoing chemo, women who had been operated on, women who were just about to have their first biopsy, and one woman who had decided that she wasn't going to fight the battle, she just wanted to go about her daily life without operating. We spoke with this ladies son whilst she was in with the surgeon and nurses - he said he couldn't do anything to convince his mum to fight this. Her husband had passed away and she missed him considerably, she didn't see the will to fight. This man spoke at great lengths with my dad - even my dad has grown through this journey. He has had to overcome his dislike of hospitals to spend hours, daily visiting his wife. My dad spoke of his four daughters, and how we are like glue and stick together through everything. Basically, how we are different to a lot of people. He told me this once we had left - I could tell he was proud of us. I felt like he knew we are doing everything we can to get mum better, and looking after him along the way too.
For once I drove home with a glimmer of hope, that finally for the first time I can see our mum having a chance at winning this race.
When I cuddled and played with my little boys tonight, I cried tears of relief, kissed them endlessly and told them how much I loved them. Cooper responding with "we love you too mum". Ohhhhh, that is what I really needed from one of my little men.
To all of my friends who I have neglected over the past few months, I am so sorry that I haven't had the time to spend with you. I know you understand that this has been one hell of a marathon - it still continues, but with today we have been given HOPE.