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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Innocent childhood friendships

To say I am proud is an understatement.
When you hear your kids talk about their friends, all the fun things they do together, when they mention "new" friends names, it makes me smile.
Our little man Cooper, used to only ever talk about three friends at creche.  Now, he lists everyone there as his friend and I have to check out all the photo's and cross reference their names, just so that I know who he is talking about.
One of his newest friends runs up and hugs him when he arrives at creche.  He bear hugs him with a genuine love, his eyes light up when he see's Cooper. Cooper proudly yells "Mum, this is my friend Isaac".
My heart is warm and fuzzy, the innocence of childhood is wonderful. I'm proud that my boys are not judging their friends, they don't see any differences, they just see friendships.
Why am I writing this, and why am I proud?
Isaac has Downs Syndrome.
To me this does not make a difference.  To my children, this does not make a difference. To others, they see a difference.
I wish that innocent childhood friendships always remained, but I know that they don't.
All as I can do is hope that we raise our boys with the right values, with kind hearts, showing them that no one deserves to be treated differently.
That everyone is unique in their own way, that everyday a friend needs your hand to hold and sometimes they need a big bear hug too!

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Reality is raw

Today for the first time since her diagnosis, for the first time in five months, my mum looks like she has cancer.
Her hair had started to fall out over the past week, a simple touch, and you had hair in your fingers.  It was floating down onto her clothes..... each morning when she woke up, there was hair on her pillow. When I walked through her door, I could not believe how whimsical her hair had become.
The reality was setting in, my mum was losing her hair, our "interesting" journey on the yellow brick road was taking a turn.
My sister and I had turned up to do some cleaning and gardening at my parents house.  When someone becomes sick for such a great period of time, household chores take a serious back burner.  We have all been contributing to try and get my parents home, back on track.
My sister took along her clippers to see if mum was ready to have her head shaved, she was.  She said that she had been crying in the shower about losing her hair, the inevitable was near. I have been dreading the day that she was going to lose her hair.  You know it is part of the process, but nothing prepares you for that moment. That moment when her hair is gone and she looks sick, she looks like she has cancer. She only looked at herself briefly in the mirror, no doubt seeing the reflection of a woman who did not look like her.
We could see that dad was struggling, sadness in his eyes as he had just watched the love of his life lose her hair.  He encouraged her to try on her wig, the one that he had chosen - we are so proud of how strong he has been on this journey. We helped her put on her wig, and it instantly changed her.  She no longer looked sick, and it brightened her up and made her feel better.  She left it on for the rest of the afternoon and still had it on when we all left.
I walked into the kitchen at one stage and mum and dad were there - dad said to mum "how you going sorty?". I said to dad, "do you think you have yourself a new girl now?" We had a laugh, you have to grab those light hearted moments whenever you can.
I took some photo's of mum today so she can reflect on them throughout her journey.  At this stage, these moments are only for my family, we need to respect mum's privacy at present.
As I said, reality is raw, sometimes so raw, you don't want to face it.  However, the upper hand is sometimes forced and no matter what you try and do, you have to face it at some stage.

My parents gave me my birthday card today, the most beautiful card that I have received from them. I know that it was hand picked with love, and they would give this card to all of my sisters if it was their birthday too.  We are all treated equally, so much love shared amongst us.

The words printed on it are as follows;

For our Daughter
If you could see yourself the way we see you,
you'd know how truly special you are
You're a loving person and a caring daughter
all the things that would make any parents proud
On your birthday and every day,
thoughts of you are filled with love
because you're such a wonderful daughter

To my beautiful mum, no matter what this journey brings, no matter what you are forced to face, your loving husband and four aces are right beside you, each and every step of the way.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Totally loving my birthday gifts!

A pampering voucher for Akuna Spa

Super cute clutch for our girls nights out!

New books to read

Bright jeans for summery days

Dolce and Gabbana perfume

Elwood work out tops

Make up and toilet bag and a scarf!

Plus a shopping voucher and a super cute porcelain owl - need to take a snap of him.

Spoilt or what?
Who is loving the bright pastel colours out this season?
Oh, and I wish it was my birthday everyday!!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Day of birth

Today was my day of birth, just a few years ago now............
I'm so grateful that I was born into this world with two of the most amazing parents.
Their strength and love for each other and my family has been the reason that we can go on each day.
Some days seem a little harder than others, tears have been shed, text messages flow constantly and so do the phone calls. Having a loved one battle the cancer disease and everything that goes along with it, truly tests your emotions to the inner core.

Today being my birthday, made me reflect on a lot of things in life.
-  How age isn't an issue for me, I'm just happy to be alive!
- I've been given the opportunity to be a mother of two little boys (full on at times, well most of the time!), but some of my friends have given their all to try and bring just one little person into the world.

However, the biggest thing that affected me today, was speaking with my mum.  The amazing woman who gave birth to me and has given me everything in life that a mother can.  She has apologised because she hasn't been able to organise a birthday card for me - to me, that's the last thing I expect her to do.
To her, it means the world.
Her coming home from hospital today, was the best present I could have received. The highs and lows of the past week have impacted us all.  Most days I just want to cry, the exhaustion of a loved one suffering tends to take its toll on everyone.
This is my mum, the person whose heart I have felt beat from the inside.
Courage is her middle name
The reality is setting in as to what the treatment is doing...........her hair is starting to fall out..............the next time I see her, she may not have any hair.  She thought she would be ok with it, however, now reality is kicking in.
Today as I celebrate my birthday, I'm grateful for being born to one of the strongest mum's in the world, and a dad who is supportive every step of the way.

October is breast cancer awareness month, please support the breast cancer foundation, you never know when this disease will touch your life.