Girls weekend away

This weekend I am heading away with a group of 6  beautiful friends who I went to school with.I am just a little bit excited........ok, I'm VERY excited!An opportunity to spend two nights with a bunch of fun, loyal, giving, loving friends.Friends who have known me for over 20 years, 20 years - now that's a scary thought!A chance for us to escape our normal daily lives and shop, drink champagne, sit in front of cosy fires, see  a movie, go out for dinner and sleep in (fingers crossed for the last one!)And reminisce and laugh about all the finer things in life. And maybe pretend that it is someone's hens night? That's what we did on one of our girls trips. Wow, we have some funny memories from that trip!I will miss waking up to the smell of my boys and tucking them in each night.However, I will cherish this weekend and the memories I will create with my old school mates.Two sleeps to go, I'm like an excited kid waiting to eat a cupcake.MMM, now there's an idea, we could savour some tasty cakes whilst we are away too...........

The word I didn't want to hear

It's been one whole week since we heard that terrible word, it feels like a lifetime.
I'm amazed at how much your life changes when someone close to you is diagnosed with it.
Nothing in the world prepares you for that phone call, "yes, it's cancer".
I tried to be strong and hold back the tears, but they flowed instantly.
You apologised for making me cry, but it isn't your fault that you have this disease.
When I got off the phone, I sobbed uncontrollably, not knowing what lies ahead for us.
At times I feel so empty, raw, totally lost.

I met with your surgeon and one of the nurses who will care for you, they are amazing.
So positive, caring and calling it the "little bugger", instead of saying what it really is.....cancer.
They explained in great detail what the operation will entail, with the uncertainty if the "little bugger" is contained, or if it has spread.
And now we pray, that when they operate, they will remove the bugger and it won't return!

For those of you that are close to us, you will know the strong bond that our family has.
Four daughters who are the best of friends - as dad once said, we are his four aces in a pack of cards, and he couldn't ask for anything else.

To my mum who has given me all I could ever want in life, you will not be alone for one moment on this journey. You know that all of us will be with you every step of the way - to send this "little bugger" packing his bags!

United we stand to conquer this battle.

Being a mother

Tomorrow is Mothers Day, but of course you all know that!
This week has made me cherish and reminisce about all of the wonderful childhood memories that I have shared with my mum. Raising four daughters can not have been an easy - three bedrooms, one bathroom, six people (5 of them female - my poor dad!) Let me tell you, I had an amazing upbringing.
I never felt I went without, although I never had a cabbage patch kid, I had to settle for a flower kid!!
I played basketball and competed in Athletics, I dreamed of being a famous actress..........had to settle for a stint on Double Dare and regular work on Neighbours. But I was given these opportunities, by a caring mum who was always there.
She stayed up late watching TV with me, met me at the letterbox as I stumbled out of a cab, drunk, and then continued to vomit hanging over that letterbox.  She enjoyed getting out of bed and meeting my friends and I after we had been out partying.  Laughing with us, picking on us for being so drunk - just loving being a part of our lives.
My mum loves being involved in our lives, loves watching her 11 grandchildren grow, adores making blankets and aprons to sell at markets.  For her it is about people loving her products, not making any extra "play" money. Oh, and she loves a chat!!!!!!
I'm proud of my mum, and I am so glad that the whole family is getting together for lunch tomorrow - it will be like rent a crowd with all of us and our 11 children.  I can't wait, I love my mum and I love my family.
Being a mum is challenging and rewarding - trust me - after having a demanding, squealing, headstrong 18 month old, testing my patience today, I felt like the worst mother.  I questioned who I am, and who I have become. I wanted to ship him off, pop him in the rubbish bin, anything just to stop him from squealing!!!!
I need to try and not let it get to me, to relax and just enjoy this parenthood ride (the one which has some tough, scary tunnels at times!)
And now I sit here, champagne in hand and look back on my day. I shouldn't let an 18 month old try and turn my life upside down, he just wants me to love him.  To spend every waking moment with him and laugh, not do housework and bake, and get myself stressed.  He just wants kisses and cuddles, assistance with carrying that Thomas  chair around, he is an ideas man who needs to scale to greater heights!
He is at that tough stage, trying to communicate (through screaming and squealing), can't quite get his point across without doing this.
Tomorrow is a new day, it will bring new beginnings - and when I wake in the morning and have my two little men giving me kisses and cuddles, I will smile.  I'll appreciate that I am a mummy and get to have these gorgeous little souls in my life.  Through the trying days and the happy times, I'll always get through what life throws at me.
It's the way I was raised by my parents, and hopefully I can pass just a little bit onto my boys.
MOTHERS DAY - a day to love and adore my mum, and be forever grateful for having the opportunity of being a mummy.

If you are lucky to spend some time with your mum tomorrow, cherish it, tell her how much you love her.  If your mum is no longer with you, remember her with a warmth in your heart, she is watching over you as mummy's do.  If you are a mummy, enjoy every squealing moment, a lot of people would give their all to have what you have.  To all the mum's and the mummy's to be, have a truly wonderful Mothers Day tomorrow xx

The waiting game..........

Within the next 24 hours, we should know.
We should know if it was just a scare, or if the fight for life begins.
Please, please, please let it just be a scare, a mere bump in the road that will disappear never to resurface again.
Scans, ultrasounds, x rays and a biopsy. Hours upon hours of pain and not knowing.
Nobody deserves to wait like this, the unknown is hard.
But most of all, what happens if it is, what happens if there is more to this story?
C A N C E R
No one, no one deserves to suffer through this terrible disease.
I was there when my nana took her last breath, when this disease claimed her life.
Please, don't let me have to hear that word tomorrow.
Tonight I pray, I gain inner strength, am hopeful that the person whose heartbeat I have felt from the inside, will not be hearing this word.

In sickness and in health

This week my smallest man has been sick, I know - AGAIN! This poor guy just can't catch a break, he recovers, is good for a few weeks and then BAM, it hits him again.  He has had 9 ear infections in 6 months, that's a lot of sleepless nights, antibiotics and tears.  This time he has acute tonsillitis - soaring temperatures for days. Nights where all as he wanted was mummy to hold and comfort him while he tried to sleep. Me propped up against pillows, dozing, surviving on minimal sleep. Doing everything I could just so he could sleep and recover. Hot, dripping with sweat, this miserable bubba was fighting something. A doctor's visit which revealed a red throat, but not enough for them to classify it as tonsillitis, a urine sample was taken and the doctor said that whatever he was fighting would probably reveal itself in 24 hours.
It certainly did - another sleepless night, constant high temps - and me making a visit to the hospital with an inquisitive three year old in tow. An incompetent doctor "asking" a 17 month old to open their mouth and stick out their tongue - his sick, his 17 months old, use your brain doctor!! After a second opinion, it was revealed that he had acute tonsillitis and inflamed ears and needed penicillin NOW!
I learnt a lot from that hospital visit, mothers really do know their child better than anyone else.
Oh and Cooper, you definitely lifted our spirits with your questions and belief that you now wanted to be a doctor, and your sweet talking to the nurse to score some tasty biscuits!
And now the fog is lifting, after 48 hours of penicillin, my cheeky little man is back in pretty much full flight.  Please let this be our last moments of sickness for a while - it's tough when the little one's get sick, even tougher when it happens when the husband is away on his yearly boys trip!!

A hoppin' Easter time

This year I decided it was time to decorate the house with a little Easter theme.  The boys are getting older and I thought it was time to get into the magic of Easter.

Chickens sat perched on our tea light holder

Rabbits, nests and finger puppets brightened up our buffet

The boys had colourful little Easter egg collection baskets

The little chicks had a home

Coopers favourite was the purple bunny

How cute are those finger puppets?

The blue and wooden bunnies were chosen by Cooper from Bed Bath n' Table

Colourful bunting highlighted Charlie's room

Cute little metal bunnies were pinned onto the bunting

 Cute wooden eggs and felt chickens

 Chickens that Cooper chose

Cute blue and white wooden eggs

Wow, Easter Bunny paid our home a visit

Ferdinand the train joined Coopers train collection

Charley bear flannelette pj's to keep Charlie warm on those Chilly Melbourne nights

Cousins Flynn, Elise and Zarah had their own delivery from Easter bunny

Charlie's excitement of finding some eggs (bit bleary eyed!)

Cousins happily playing

I love how each was doing their own thing

Happy times

Yeah for Z who is almost walking solo

Trains always unite boys

Cousins having a snuggle

So cosy

Coops on the run

Happy on the beach

Run, run, run

Charlie all relaxed

Our happy family

I hope that you had a beautiful Easter, shared with family, friends and eating a chocolate Easter Egg or two!

The merry go round

It's been one week since Coopers accident, one week of reassuring my little boy every day that he is safe, brave, and he will be ok.
I feel like I am on a merry go round. Every day I jump on, just waiting for the moment when Coops will mention he fell in the water.  Each time he mentions it, my heart drops out of my chest.  He stares blankly as he talks about it.  My poor baby, what is going through that precious little mind of yours?
Today he started back at creche, and I felt a bit apprehensive leaving him this morning.  I know he is safe there and loves playing with his friends, it was the factor of him talking about falling in the water without me being around.
I explained to his carers what happened to him, just so they knew and understood if he started talking about it.
He kissed and hugged me, said "bye mummy", I prayed that he would have a great day.
When I went to pick him up tonight, he was sitting in the playground on a chair, staring off into the distance.  This was not my bouncy little man who is usually running around with his friends, climbing, playing in the sand pit. I went up and said "hi Coops, how was your day?".  He responded with "mummy, today I fell in the water". That blank look, it broke my heart.  It was like he was reliving it all over again.
 It's been exactly one week and he was adamant that it happened today. He kept repeating it - "I fell in the water today, I splashed, I got wet, daddy had to save me.  I must be careful".
Bless his soul, I just want to wrap him in cotton wool, protect him, be there beside him for his every waking moment.
When will this merry go round stop? I'm tired and my heart is breaking for my gorgeous little boy.