Determination and courage to see another birthday.

Today was my mum's birthday. Oh yes, she made it!
It was only about a month ago when mum said to me "am I going to be alive for my birthday?".
My response "of course mum!".  Yes, she made it!
After the last round of chemo, for the first time, mum has managed to stay out of hospital.  Fingers crossed she can stay out of hospital and make it till next Tuesday, when she will endure her last round of chemo.
I feel a relief coming, chemotherapy has been a huge struggle. But, have you ever heard of anyone referring to it as a walk in the park?
I know mum is dreading having it again, the severe muscle aches really knock her about.  However, she knows that it needs to be done for her best shot at killing off any cancer cells.
However, the treatment doesn't finish up next week, more like around March!
But chemo will be done and dusted, another operation to follow and then radiation.  I just hope that we can have her home for Christmas with us.
Baby steps mum, you have almost made it past the biggest hurdle you have had to face.
Through it all, you have managed to keep your cheeky smile and sense of humour.
I believe that you get your strong will for life and your ability to try and run the hospital, from your father.  Every time I see you, I see a part of him in you.
He would be so proud of you mum, just like we all are.
Happy Birthday mum, we look forward to spending many more with you
xx

Then you were two

Wow - Today Charlie you are TWO!

Two years ago you came into our world after a speedy 3.5 hour labour.

Two years ago you made our beautiful family complete.

Two years ago you started to form a special bond with your big brother.

You are independant, headstrong and stubborn

With a great love for the outdoors, your brother and Neo

You are a go getter and will give anything a try

You have a cheeky personality and are inquisitive

You have a great love for animals and food

You are learning more words each and every day

You try to entertain and make people laugh (or cry!)

I see so much of me in you

The love you have for your family and home

The strength you have when you fall to get up and keep going

Your determination to succeed from a small age

I am so proud of you my Charlie Chops

Grateful to have you in my life and a part of our special family

You bring so much laughter and joy

Please don't ever change, you are our unique little man

Happy 2nd Birthday gorgeous boy

Our tiny son is growing up

One week............feels like an eternity

This past week has been a week full of extreme sickness for me and my loved one's. One of those weeks when you feel "why me", "when will this end", surely luck will come our way soon!
Then you get that small window to sit, think and try and recover.  Also realise, that "hey, this will pass and is it really that bad?".  Oh yes, it has been really that bad, but with each minute and hour that passes, we will get better.
It started off last Monday with mum being hospitalised with yet another infection. What should have been a few days in hospital, has turned out with her being on oxygen for 4 days and having antibiotics being pumped into her, along with two blood transfusions. Hopefully she is home before the Melbourne Cup kicks off tomorrow!  Cancer and its treatment is not an easy road.

This is mum when she was really sick. It's nice to know she is now up and about trying to run the hospital again!

This is the face of courage.

Amongst the sickness we had wild winds last week, which managed to cause our umbrella to fly down the back yard and it now has a tiny hole in it.  Plus a heavy pot fell off the deck and crushed one of my favourite plants.

Can't wait to get our pebbles for our fire pit area - to go where the dead grass is!

So, it comes in three's right? Only one more thing to go wrong?

Oh I wish!

Then Friday came around, it was 2pm and a friend and her little girl had just arrived for a cuppa.  Charlie does a little vomit, nothing to be concerned about (I didn't think!).  Then we are sitting chatting away and Sally says " He is vomiting again".  This was no tiny vomit, this was one to worry about.  It was like cottage cheese, all over me, him, the floor, Millie's shoes and foot! Second change of clothes for him, first for me.  After that, it was all over, I knew Gastro had hit the home. He continued to vomit until 9:30 that night, and left behind a trail of destruction of about three washing loads.  I was praying that the rest of us would not get it.  All was going well until 2am on Sunday morning, then it was my turn. I ended up sleeping on the bathroom floor under a towel, I had no energy to move backwards and forwards from bed to the toilet. Then all of Sunday was spent in bed.  Not a nice way to lose a couple of kilos. 

This Gastro story now continues, at 2am this morning, Cooper came into our room and said he felt sick - oh no, please no, I've had enough of vomit in this house.  He went off to sleep in our bed and I went and slept in the spare bed.  I had no energy and was still trying to recover from my bout.  I thought he was ok, until the morning when Will came and woke me and said "you need to take over, I need some sleep".  It has hit Coops and the poor little fella is still going.

"Look at my yucky mouth mum"

(his ribs don't stick out like that either, he was just breathing in)

So, I've been at the in laws doing another three loads of washing today. Oh, that's right, our washing machine stopped working on Friday too, so I've had to cart all the vomit washing to my in laws to clean.  Great timing hey?!

At least I got some cheering up today.  My mother in law picked up my shoes that I wanted and also some cute little flowers to decorate our home.

I am praying that this week is going to be a brighter one, that healthy bodies will return to us all and we can enjoy some ice creams.

How was your week? I hope it was a lot "brighter" than mine!

The fighting spirit of a mum

Well, it's been almost six months since my mum's cancer diagnosis.  What we all thought was a straight forward cancer to fight, has turned into a daily struggle for her to live.
You never can predict what the future holds.  What  doctors believe will be easy, cancer and the body put a different spin on it.
I want this journey for her to get easier, but we are still months off that.  Everything that the treatment can throw her way, it is. As the doctor explained tonight, her body is just taking a lot longer to recover. Each chemo round has bought with it an infection. I know more about the body now, than I have ever known. Neutrophil levels, iron levels, oxygen saturation, platelets etc etc.  What are each doing? How low are they? Where is the infection? When oh when will she come off oxygen?  What's the next plan? When do you think she will be home? Does this mean Chemo is delayed again? (YES!)
This week has been really tough - when mum ends up in hospital, there are an endless amount of flowing texts and phone calls between my sisters and I.  Who is seeing mum on which day, what is the latest update, has someone checked in with dad?
I'm so lucky to have three loving sisters to share this journey with.  It's emotional, it's tiring, but we do what we have to do to keep mum's spirits high.
I'm getting kind of used to the long, late night drives back from the hospital, listening to Richard Mercer on love songs and dedications.
Last night and today, mum has received two blood transfusions. I am eternally grateful to everyone that donates blood, you have played a part in keeping my mum alive.
Please tomorrow bring us some better news.  Bring us a mummy who has some energy. Let her blood results have some better figures.  Give us some hope.
As I sit her typing this, I still see the face of the lady who told me it would be an interesting journey.
My gosh, she was certainly right.
I just hope that it is a journey that brings us a healthier mum soon.

I miss being able to kiss you mum, but at least I can still hug you and tell you that I love you.
We are all so proud of your courageous fight through this very tough battle. You are truly inspirational, and we are so lucky to have you as our mum.

Sweet dreams
xx