When we found out second time around that we were having another little boy, I cried - now these were tears of joy. At first I think Will thought I was crying because we were not going to get our little girl, the one that I always wanted to put into little dresses and tights. It's ok, I have managed to already put Charlie into the bonds boy tights!! The tears of joy were due to knowing that everything was ok, that our little boy was healthy and there was no getting it wrong he was a boy, he had his hand on his willy when all was revealed! Gee, they start young.....
My twelve week scan compared with my blood results, put me almost in the high risk area for having a baby with Downs Syndrome. My results were also almost high risk for having a baby with Trisomy 18 too. When I got the phone call from my obstetrician, it was first thing in the morning and I had just arrived at work. I got off the phone and I cried, cried for our baby that we already loved, cried for this little person that was already moving around inside of me, cried for the unknown. I felt sick, scared, and did not want to have to make any decisions about what we were going to do with this little person who we had not even met. My obstetrician had booked me in to have a more in depth scan at 16 weeks. I had to wait two whole weeks before we knew if everything was going to be ok with our little person, or if further tests etc would have to be under taken.
They were the worst two weeks of my life. Firstly, Will was going away that day for a week with the boys on a surf trip up North. I so badly wanted to say to him to stay with me, hold me, tell me that all would be ok. But I was strong and told him to go, I know he needed to get away with his boys for their yearly trip. It's not often holidays happen when you have little kids.
Every day I cried, worried and did research into T21 and T18. It was not the T21 that scared us, we had already discussed that if we found out that our little one had Downs Syndrome, they were staying in our lives. After Joey and Shane had beautiful little Fraser - which they found out at his birth that he had Downs Syndrome, we knew we would do everything to have them in our lives. It was the T18 that absolutely petrified me. Babies with this condition, either die in utero, or are born and only live for up to 12 months. Would I want to abort? Or would I want to go through the entire pregnancy, just to give this baby a shot at life for up to 12 months? To hold them, to tell them how much I loved them, to hear them cry, to comfort them, to watch them pass away..........?
I did not want to have to make that decision.
Luckily, at 16 weeks, after a very in depth scan, we found out that we were having a healthy baby boy - our "Charlie"! Of course, we were told that there was always a small chance that there could be something wrong, scans aren't 100% accurate. So, it was not until I held him in my arms on the 11.11.10, that I knew he was going to be fine.
Moving onto the brotherly bond. The first few days that Cooper visited Charlie, he did not want anything to do with "the baby" or mummy. I knew this was completely normal, he was used to the focus being completely on him, who was this little person who had entered into mummy and daddy's world? But as each day passed, he slowly realised that "this baby" was a good thing, he was going to have someone extra to hang out with, and hopefully in time, play trains with!
We always wondered if our two sons would grow up to become best mates, well, the bond has already started to grow. Let me tell you, it is so beautiful to watch and brings tears to your eyes. Who would have thought that after Charlie being in our lives for a short time of only 5 months tomorrow, we can could clearly say that these two are the best of friends. They pretty much go to bed at the same time as each other and also wake up at the same time as each other. Cooper will come into our room at around 6:30am and within a couple of minutes I can hear Charlie start to chatter away through the monitor. Sometimes, it is the other way around and Charlie wakes first. These two are so in synch, it is amazing.
Watching them hang out together on the floor is adorable, Charlie always has a wide grin on his face, and is always trying to grab at Cooper. He squeals with delight and tries to eat his hands or Cooper's face, when Cooper goes for his million and one kisses throughout the day. If Charlie cries, Cooper always tries to comfort him and will yell out to me to come and help. And today, Cooper starting reading books to him - oh so cute!
I'm so grateful that we have two beautiful healthy boys, who in time will no doubt be playing trains together and then will be off surfing together.
We didn't get our little pink one to dress up in tights, but I wouldn't change what we have for the world. It just means in a few years time when the boys are off surfing etc, I will get to sip lattes and shop!
Brothers in arms - I hope they will always stay that way.