Then you were two

Wow - Today Charlie you are TWO!

Two years ago you came into our world after a speedy 3.5 hour labour.

Two years ago you made our beautiful family complete.

Two years ago you started to form a special bond with your big brother.

You are independant, headstrong and stubborn

With a great love for the outdoors, your brother and Neo

You are a go getter and will give anything a try

You have a cheeky personality and are inquisitive

You have a great love for animals and food

You are learning more words each and every day

You try to entertain and make people laugh (or cry!)

I see so much of me in you

The love you have for your family and home

The strength you have when you fall to get up and keep going

Your determination to succeed from a small age

I am so proud of you my Charlie Chops

Grateful to have you in my life and a part of our special family

You bring so much laughter and joy

Please don't ever change, you are our unique little man

Happy 2nd Birthday gorgeous boy

Our tiny son is growing up

One week............feels like an eternity

This past week has been a week full of extreme sickness for me and my loved one's. One of those weeks when you feel "why me", "when will this end", surely luck will come our way soon!
Then you get that small window to sit, think and try and recover.  Also realise, that "hey, this will pass and is it really that bad?".  Oh yes, it has been really that bad, but with each minute and hour that passes, we will get better.
It started off last Monday with mum being hospitalised with yet another infection. What should have been a few days in hospital, has turned out with her being on oxygen for 4 days and having antibiotics being pumped into her, along with two blood transfusions. Hopefully she is home before the Melbourne Cup kicks off tomorrow!  Cancer and its treatment is not an easy road.

This is mum when she was really sick. It's nice to know she is now up and about trying to run the hospital again!

This is the face of courage.

Amongst the sickness we had wild winds last week, which managed to cause our umbrella to fly down the back yard and it now has a tiny hole in it.  Plus a heavy pot fell off the deck and crushed one of my favourite plants.

Can't wait to get our pebbles for our fire pit area - to go where the dead grass is!

So, it comes in three's right? Only one more thing to go wrong?

Oh I wish!

Then Friday came around, it was 2pm and a friend and her little girl had just arrived for a cuppa.  Charlie does a little vomit, nothing to be concerned about (I didn't think!).  Then we are sitting chatting away and Sally says " He is vomiting again".  This was no tiny vomit, this was one to worry about.  It was like cottage cheese, all over me, him, the floor, Millie's shoes and foot! Second change of clothes for him, first for me.  After that, it was all over, I knew Gastro had hit the home. He continued to vomit until 9:30 that night, and left behind a trail of destruction of about three washing loads.  I was praying that the rest of us would not get it.  All was going well until 2am on Sunday morning, then it was my turn. I ended up sleeping on the bathroom floor under a towel, I had no energy to move backwards and forwards from bed to the toilet. Then all of Sunday was spent in bed.  Not a nice way to lose a couple of kilos. 

This Gastro story now continues, at 2am this morning, Cooper came into our room and said he felt sick - oh no, please no, I've had enough of vomit in this house.  He went off to sleep in our bed and I went and slept in the spare bed.  I had no energy and was still trying to recover from my bout.  I thought he was ok, until the morning when Will came and woke me and said "you need to take over, I need some sleep".  It has hit Coops and the poor little fella is still going.

"Look at my yucky mouth mum"

(his ribs don't stick out like that either, he was just breathing in)

So, I've been at the in laws doing another three loads of washing today. Oh, that's right, our washing machine stopped working on Friday too, so I've had to cart all the vomit washing to my in laws to clean.  Great timing hey?!

At least I got some cheering up today.  My mother in law picked up my shoes that I wanted and also some cute little flowers to decorate our home.

I am praying that this week is going to be a brighter one, that healthy bodies will return to us all and we can enjoy some ice creams.

How was your week? I hope it was a lot "brighter" than mine!

The fighting spirit of a mum

Well, it's been almost six months since my mum's cancer diagnosis.  What we all thought was a straight forward cancer to fight, has turned into a daily struggle for her to live.
You never can predict what the future holds.  What  doctors believe will be easy, cancer and the body put a different spin on it.
I want this journey for her to get easier, but we are still months off that.  Everything that the treatment can throw her way, it is. As the doctor explained tonight, her body is just taking a lot longer to recover. Each chemo round has bought with it an infection. I know more about the body now, than I have ever known. Neutrophil levels, iron levels, oxygen saturation, platelets etc etc.  What are each doing? How low are they? Where is the infection? When oh when will she come off oxygen?  What's the next plan? When do you think she will be home? Does this mean Chemo is delayed again? (YES!)
This week has been really tough - when mum ends up in hospital, there are an endless amount of flowing texts and phone calls between my sisters and I.  Who is seeing mum on which day, what is the latest update, has someone checked in with dad?
I'm so lucky to have three loving sisters to share this journey with.  It's emotional, it's tiring, but we do what we have to do to keep mum's spirits high.
I'm getting kind of used to the long, late night drives back from the hospital, listening to Richard Mercer on love songs and dedications.
Last night and today, mum has received two blood transfusions. I am eternally grateful to everyone that donates blood, you have played a part in keeping my mum alive.
Please tomorrow bring us some better news.  Bring us a mummy who has some energy. Let her blood results have some better figures.  Give us some hope.
As I sit her typing this, I still see the face of the lady who told me it would be an interesting journey.
My gosh, she was certainly right.
I just hope that it is a journey that brings us a healthier mum soon.

I miss being able to kiss you mum, but at least I can still hug you and tell you that I love you.
We are all so proud of your courageous fight through this very tough battle. You are truly inspirational, and we are so lucky to have you as our mum.

Sweet dreams
xx

Innocent childhood friendships

To say I am proud is an understatement.
When you hear your kids talk about their friends, all the fun things they do together, when they mention "new" friends names, it makes me smile.
Our little man Cooper, used to only ever talk about three friends at creche.  Now, he lists everyone there as his friend and I have to check out all the photo's and cross reference their names, just so that I know who he is talking about.
One of his newest friends runs up and hugs him when he arrives at creche.  He bear hugs him with a genuine love, his eyes light up when he see's Cooper. Cooper proudly yells "Mum, this is my friend Isaac".
My heart is warm and fuzzy, the innocence of childhood is wonderful. I'm proud that my boys are not judging their friends, they don't see any differences, they just see friendships.
Why am I writing this, and why am I proud?
Isaac has Downs Syndrome.
To me this does not make a difference.  To my children, this does not make a difference. To others, they see a difference.
I wish that innocent childhood friendships always remained, but I know that they don't.
All as I can do is hope that we raise our boys with the right values, with kind hearts, showing them that no one deserves to be treated differently.
That everyone is unique in their own way, that everyday a friend needs your hand to hold and sometimes they need a big bear hug too!

Reality is raw

Today for the first time since her diagnosis, for the first time in five months, my mum looks like she has cancer.
Her hair had started to fall out over the past week, a simple touch, and you had hair in your fingers.  It was floating down onto her clothes..... each morning when she woke up, there was hair on her pillow. When I walked through her door, I could not believe how whimsical her hair had become.
The reality was setting in, my mum was losing her hair, our "interesting" journey on the yellow brick road was taking a turn.
My sister and I had turned up to do some cleaning and gardening at my parents house.  When someone becomes sick for such a great period of time, household chores take a serious back burner.  We have all been contributing to try and get my parents home, back on track.
My sister took along her clippers to see if mum was ready to have her head shaved, she was.  She said that she had been crying in the shower about losing her hair, the inevitable was near. I have been dreading the day that she was going to lose her hair.  You know it is part of the process, but nothing prepares you for that moment. That moment when her hair is gone and she looks sick, she looks like she has cancer. She only looked at herself briefly in the mirror, no doubt seeing the reflection of a woman who did not look like her.
We could see that dad was struggling, sadness in his eyes as he had just watched the love of his life lose her hair.  He encouraged her to try on her wig, the one that he had chosen - we are so proud of how strong he has been on this journey. We helped her put on her wig, and it instantly changed her.  She no longer looked sick, and it brightened her up and made her feel better.  She left it on for the rest of the afternoon and still had it on when we all left.
I walked into the kitchen at one stage and mum and dad were there - dad said to mum "how you going sorty?". I said to dad, "do you think you have yourself a new girl now?" We had a laugh, you have to grab those light hearted moments whenever you can.
I took some photo's of mum today so she can reflect on them throughout her journey.  At this stage, these moments are only for my family, we need to respect mum's privacy at present.
As I said, reality is raw, sometimes so raw, you don't want to face it.  However, the upper hand is sometimes forced and no matter what you try and do, you have to face it at some stage.

My parents gave me my birthday card today, the most beautiful card that I have received from them. I know that it was hand picked with love, and they would give this card to all of my sisters if it was their birthday too.  We are all treated equally, so much love shared amongst us.

The words printed on it are as follows;

For our Daughter
If you could see yourself the way we see you,
you'd know how truly special you are
You're a loving person and a caring daughter
all the things that would make any parents proud
On your birthday and every day,
thoughts of you are filled with love
because you're such a wonderful daughter

To my beautiful mum, no matter what this journey brings, no matter what you are forced to face, your loving husband and four aces are right beside you, each and every step of the way.

Totally loving my birthday gifts!

A pampering voucher for Akuna Spa

Super cute clutch for our girls nights out!

New books to read

Bright jeans for summery days

Dolce and Gabbana perfume

Elwood work out tops

Make up and toilet bag and a scarf!

Plus a shopping voucher and a super cute porcelain owl - need to take a snap of him.

Spoilt or what?

Who is loving the bright pastel colours out this season?

Oh, and I wish it was my birthday everyday!!

Day of birth

Today was my day of birth, just a few years ago now............
I'm so grateful that I was born into this world with two of the most amazing parents.
Their strength and love for each other and my family has been the reason that we can go on each day.
Some days seem a little harder than others, tears have been shed, text messages flow constantly and so do the phone calls. Having a loved one battle the cancer disease and everything that goes along with it, truly tests your emotions to the inner core.

Today being my birthday, made me reflect on a lot of things in life.
-  How age isn't an issue for me, I'm just happy to be alive!
- I've been given the opportunity to be a mother of two little boys (full on at times, well most of the time!), but some of my friends have given their all to try and bring just one little person into the world.

However, the biggest thing that affected me today, was speaking with my mum.  The amazing woman who gave birth to me and has given me everything in life that a mother can.  She has apologised because she hasn't been able to organise a birthday card for me - to me, that's the last thing I expect her to do.
To her, it means the world.
Her coming home from hospital today, was the best present I could have received. The highs and lows of the past week have impacted us all.  Most days I just want to cry, the exhaustion of a loved one suffering tends to take its toll on everyone.
This is my mum, the person whose heart I have felt beat from the inside.
Courage is her middle name
The reality is setting in as to what the treatment is doing...........her hair is starting to fall out..............the next time I see her, she may not have any hair.  She thought she would be ok with it, however, now reality is kicking in.
Today as I celebrate my birthday, I'm grateful for being born to one of the strongest mum's in the world, and a dad who is supportive every step of the way.

October is breast cancer awareness month, please support the breast cancer foundation, you never know when this disease will touch your life.