Adjusting to a world of darkness, Neo has lost his vision.

Our beautiful dog Neo, has gone blind................

Over the past few days he has not been himself, no running laps of the backyards, going to visit Mick next door or scratching at the door for his dinner.  

Today I looked into his eye and it was all cloudy, he could not see me, could only feel my touch. My heart skipped a beat, tears tried to break the surface as I yelled to Will that I think Neo can't see.

I watched as he smelt his way around, stumbled onto his bed, bumped into the outside table - and navigated to his favourite sunning spot on the steps.

Sitting here, I feel sad for him, no longer will he see our faces, watch over and protect our kids from strangers, gallop around the back yard like he is a race horse - have the zest for life that he has always had.

Tears are now falling, I can't control how I am feeling, I don't know what to feel, he is slipping away from us.  

How long will it be before we decide that his quality of life is no longer?

We talked about it today, when do you make that decision? We don't want to have to make it, we hope that one day he passes on while dreaming in his sleep. 

For those of you that don't know his story, this is the life of our Neo.

We chose him because he was the runt of the litter, he was full of life, he warmed to us. He became a part of our family, when we married nine years ago.

A beautiful black and white Siberian Husky who was born with piercing blue eyes.  When he was a year old, he went blind in one eye and it had to be replaced with a prosthetic eye. It was devastating at the time, but he proved to us that he could live a really happy life with one eye.

About a year after that, he went blind in his other eye - he had emergency laser eye surgery to try and fix it.  For five days he was blind, I cried every day as he fell down steps, bumped into everything and didn't want to leave his bed.  Then miraculously, he started to see - the eye specialist couldn't believe it. She had never had a dog go blind for that long and then have their vision restored.

We never knew how much vision he had in that eye, but we were over the moon that he could see something.  We were told that at some stage, there was a fair chance, that he would lose his vision.  

7 years on, that day has come...............................

Thousands of dollars have been spent on his eyes, and every cent was worth it.

He is a part of our family, one of our "boys", and even though he can no longer see us, I am going to make sure that he knows every day that we love him.

We will be your eyes Neo, we will guide you through your days and try to help you enjoy every moment that you have left with us. 

Please let us know in some way when we must say goodbye

A bake up!

Today we had a little bake up - nothing too fancy, just a few tasty treats.
I made a batch of lemon slice for Charlie's b'day which is coming up, we always keep some of this in the freezer for any unexpected guest that arrives.
Will whipped up some coffee scrolls and cheesy-mite scolls, yummo, these were all for us!!
I also made pear and apple pancakes for lunch, these were a huge hit with the boys, Cooper ate almost as many as us, and Charlie devoured a whole one in five minutes!
Then dinner time rolled around and we had my mouth watering oven baked chicken stuffed with cheese and whole grain mustard and drizzled in gravy - with a side dish of mashed potato, zucchini and pumpkin (all mashed together).  Little Coops inhaled his so quickly, that he moved on to my plate.
Nothing makes me happier than when we can make beautiful meals for our family that they can enjoy.
Do you enjoy getting your bake on?

Tired, tired, tired............

Today I feel TIRED...........the feeling that I had months ago when I was diagnosed with low vitamin D.  Still such a weird thing to get my head around, considering most days I am out and about in the sunshine.  However, I have since learnt that it is also diet related, and considering there was a lengthy period when I had very minimal dairy, I am putting it down to this.
I feel like I have been hit with a tonne of bricks, sheer exhaustion which comes down to returning to work (those really early morning starts, and the long commute), combined with two sick little boys.  One very sick little bubba who has been on two lots of antibiotics in three weeks - ear infections, tonsillitis and thrush.  Along with this, he has been getting teeth - the poor munchkin has been miserable.
Also, Coops has had croup twice in that period of time too, luckily we have had the steroid medication to get straight into him.  Nothing like it hitting at midnight!
How we got through those days where we only had four hours sleep and then had to work, I really don't know.  I felt like I needed to insert a caffeine drip to keep me going.
It is so hard to focus on the positives in life when you have sick kids that sap all of your energy - those extra cuddles in the middle of the night, the screams of pain, the not knowing what more you can do for them.
So, as much as I am tired today, we have built cubbies, danced, sang, and little Charlie has been walking around hanging onto things.  Oh, and of course he has been pulling Coopers train tracks apart and getting him angry!!  The fun really begins between those two now..............
Time for some good things for us now, sicknesses are moving on, weather is warming up, and we have lots of wonderful celebrations coming up with family and friends.  There is always someone else out there doing it a lot tougher than me, and that's what I need to remember every day - some days baby steps get you through, but as long as you are alive and surrounded by wonderful people, that's all that matters. Think it's time for me to stop and smell those roses, better go in search of some to sniff!

Celebrations, teething, returning to work.......how do we do it?

The last few weeks feel like a whirlwind.......or should I say, my brain feels like it has not had a chance to switch off and unwind??
Almost a couple of weeks ago, my sister in law got married - I love a wedding, the commitment, the love in their eyes, the laughter, a good drink and dance with family and friends.  We cherished this day as Colin and Belinda said "I DO".  The sun was shining, the champagne was flowing, and we were kid free for a whole 24 hours!!! It has been so long since we have had no children in our care for that period of time, it felt weird leaving them, but was lovely to enjoy some "US" time.
After the wedding, Will's brother Nick came and stayed with us - to our "nice gaff" as he called it (our home).  He is currently living and working in London - he had never met our two little boys, his nephews.  How would you feel meeting your nephews when they are 3 and 10 months old? Would be such a bizarre feeling meeting new members of the family after such a long time.  But, they clicked and got along really well.  Although, Coops still thinks it is uncle "Mick"! We took Nick to Portsea beach, where he played in the waves with Coops.  There was drinks everyday - Will took him to a few of our local bars, and we also  spent some time at the Red Hill Brewery.  I think his highlight was all about the foods that he has missed, dim sims, pies, sausage rolls, parma - and a good steak from The Conti.  It is funny the little things in life that you miss that you can't get all over the world.
This week I returned to work after my twelve months of caring for my little guys - working three days a week, Tuesdays/Wednesdays and Thursdays.  And would you believe that Charlie decided to cut two teeth on Monday night, when mummy had to return to work at 8am on Tuesday? He only stirred a couple of times, but enough to wake feeling a little bleary eyed.
Being back at work, has made me feel that I am doing something for me and my family.  I get time to be just me, not a mum (although I am alway a mum), you know what I mean....not having to change the nappies, feed, entertain etc, just for a few days.  And my babies get a chance to learn about being independent, to make friendships, to learn and to miss their mummy and daddy and know that all will be ok.
And then last night he screamed for three hours after I got home from work, I was thinking, how can I work all day and then deal with that during the night? No down time for me as there were bottles to prepare, bags to pack etc.  Then he bombed and stirred twice through the night, but I still managed to get some good sleep. The tears started again tonight, so I wonder if those other two teeth have cut through too?
Why is it that things always happen when life is at your busiest? Is it a test to see how well you can deal with everything being thrown at you?
It is amazing how we get through these times though, it's all about being organised, trying.... and I mean trying to remain calm, because last night I thought those screams were never going to end.
All is quiet in the household right now, and everything feels just right. Please let my baby not have those nasty teething pains tonight.
On that note, it is time to curl up in my comfy bed, one more early rise for my working week.
Sweet dreams
xx